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Kathryn (1982-1995)

Life hurts too much.

Please show me how to go on?

Despite all my trying to be positive today, it seems that there was a fatal flaw in my assumptions... this has been made very clear to me, and it feels like my insides have all been pulled out and stuffed in a blender.

i hate myself so much. i mean, this is what i get for being honest with someone i love... i loose them. how can that be right? so why should i risk trusting anyone again? please tell me. cos i don't know. whats the point of loving someone so much if its just gonna end like this?

whats wrong with me??

am i just not supposed to be happy?

or am i just not supposed to be myself?

And it had to come on this day of all days. 9 years to the day since my sister died. I had to go on try and sort things out when i'm already very low. but i couldn't go on without doing. I couldn't let go without trying... i've given up too easily on things in the past, i didn't want this to be the same.

Kathryn, I love you. I always will, my baby sister. I hope that wherever you are now, you're happy. Blessed be.