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26th Mar, 2004

Today's been an odd one.

It started out nice... lots of post; both "get well" cards and birthday cards... and it got better with two parcel deliveries; a rather nummy antique-effect red leather bondage collar and cuff set in one and a totally wicked chocolate egg from Ellie as a combined birthday, easter and get-well type present. Why wicked? weeeeeell, extra thick, rather srummy chocolate and coffee truffles, two of my all-time favourites, in an egg-shape, which just makes my (often rather too obvious and so-close-to-outer,) inner child go -BOUNCE- -GIGGLE- -BOUNCE- :-)

This morning was nice... one of those times where I manage to feel all nice'n'warm'n'snuggly inside... it's nice feeling cared-for :-)

Mummy's back this afternoon; she's been at my gran's all week while her partner was in having his knee replaced... she doesn't like being on her own, so my mum took the time of work to go stay with her. Not the most pleasant of tasks unfortunately as my gran has become fairly cantankerous and moans about practically everything... yes is unwilling to do anything about it.

Doctor's early this evening to get a repeat prescription for these painkillers. 3 lots... good job I'm on benefit or that'd be over 18 quid's worth of medication... which is just scary... I have now got about 120 tablets of 500mg paracetamol, about 90 of 50mg diclophenac and 65 50mg tramadol (an opiode like codeine)... so if I get into a nice highly depressed state, I'm sure there's a rather massive overdose sat downstairs for me... added to the bottles of vodka, Jack D and scotch I know I have... hmmm... it surprises me how easily someone who suffers depression and has a known history of suicide attempts, including an overdose on one of the self-same drugs, can get hold of large amounts of then; I mean, I have 60grams of paracetamol downstairs, do you know how many packs of over-the-counter tablets you would need to get that much of it...?

Tonight's been odd, I just kinda, bombed... lost any drive to do anything after going to the doctors.

I had been playing around with Kivio from KOffice earlier, doing diagrams for the shopping basket system I mentioned, so I now have a nice pretty computerised version of my rough-and-scrappy entity relationship diagram. I had been planning to do some Use Case thingies tonight, and possibly finish (or atleast do some more on) the Specification document I started before the crash... this whole 'no drive' thing scuppered that though, and I ended up just veging and watching Inspector Morse.

Anyway, I'm tired and sleepy now, so I'm going to go to bed shortly. Going to go kick my Aunty's computer tomorrow as it's not behaving itself!