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Oopsie! Long time, no entry....

I've been a busy little bod of late; trying to keep my mind occupied.

I have a little bit of web devel to do... it might turn into a few more bits down the line. Not a job, but it's something I can put on my CV and it's stuff that is atleast interesting... and I can recycle some of the code from the voluntary stuff i've been doing too.

The voluntary stuff is progressing; slowly, but it's happenning... the charity website is getting close to being 'done', in so far as any site is ever done. I have to start working out how I'm gonna do the website for the Coral Reef project soon... gonna be a bit hard; need to balance an educational aspect against the fact that this isn't a fund raiser for coral reefs, but in fact for children's charities... so it's gonna be hard work to design. It's also gonna be a major maintenance job as Anne, who's charity it is, wants to try and develop the inflatables on the Reef into characters; she wants to try and have ongoing stories and so-forth based on those characters... it's gonna be a fairly mammoth task and a long-term commitment... but I got into this with the knowledge that it would be long-term, and I had already decided I wanted to develop educational games and stuff, so adding in a regular story is not really a huge endeavour I suppose.

I also got those new hard drives in and reinstallation of the affected systems is underway, although i'm taking my time over it to set things up properly. So far I have a Fedora Core 1 Linux system with DNS and Apache and a Windows 2000 Server with Advanced Directory running... oh yeah, and the DNS is dynamically updatable by the W2KS/ADS as necessary, which is kinda cool. The next plan is to make the Linux box's Samba daemon into a part of the ADS. This is all new stuff to me - I've never had ADS, I've never needed to sort out Kerberos, etc... so I'm learning as I go :-)

Oh... I said I sorted the drives, that's not exactly accurate... I got two of them working no-problems, but the third one seems to have a buggered partition table... Linux fdisk is objecting to an invalid flag of 0x00 (bigger hex string than that, but zero non-the-less) in partition table 4... It'll create partitions but then it can't find them and all sorts of weirdness. So I'm in the process of getting that back to Dabs and trying to get a replacement. Lets see if they have a clue and understand that even if it *DOES* work under Windows (and I have no idea of it does), that is no use whatsoever to me as this is for a Linux system, and if
Linux can't do anything with it then it's a total bust.

I *will* be pissed off if they're tossers over this.

I'm doing as much as I can to keep myself from thinking too much; I have a psychiatrists appointment in less than a week and I'm terrified over it. This isn't like any other time I've had to see a shrink... that's always either been me feeling screwed up or me being depressed. This time I need monsieur le shrinke to recognise me as being gender dystrophic and to refer me to the gender clinic. I have no idea how much of a formality this is, or how often that recognition doesn't happen.... so, to coin a phrase i alwys thought was wonderfully graphic (and simultaneously sound really rather painful) ... I'm shitting bricks!

I'm also not sleeping 100% brilliantly and my energy levels are a bit low and stuff is getting to me a lot easier right now than I'm altogether happy with... while the whole 'positive outlook' thing is still there, i've been living for the past 6 weeks or so with this appointment hanging over me... and even if you don't think about something a lot in a day, over 6 weeks, those little bits add up to a lot of worrying and stressing and stuff...

It's all bubbled into a mini-mess. I'm on top of stuff, but I' irritable and I'm snappy and I'm grouchy... some would say there's not change there....(!) but normally i have *moods* like this; it's not a way of living... at the moment its an ongoing state of existence that i'm having to try to control. Especially as my dad seems to have decided his new years resolution is to be more actively annoying and more often in my face (and my room) than I remember for a while.

I would *SO* love to just be able to dissappear right now... take off and travel or something.

Course, to be able to do *that* would mean icing the plans for transition on the NHS... so having the cash to cover it privately wouldn't exactly go amiss either... not that i have a clue whether i could actually *do* it and travel...

Hell, while we're at it, lets throw in a bit more cash and i'll learn to ski and snowboard!

That'd be fun :-)

Anyway, g2g... s'late, so I's gonna go try go ZZzzzzzz.....!