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Catching up with entries again...

Well, yet again, its rather a long time since I last made any updates... and believe or not, I actually have stuff that I really should've made posts about... so here goes!




Crushiness


Well, my stupid-crushy-thing continued to confuse the hell out of me... until I got idiotically lonely one night and told her how I feel. Well, obviously that kinda qualifies as "bringing things to a head"... and its not really like you can take that kind of thing back either... so, anyway, long story short, she's straight, and entirely uninterested in me, but wants us to be friends.... which is cool in so far as it goes... I mean, I can't pretend not to be dissappointed... actually, rather far from it... I'd not actually realised just how much I like her... so while I'm really pleased that we can still be friends, this hasn't exactly done alot for little old lonely-girl....

Depression


Stupid old depression is still plaguing me... and the whole Kerri-thing hasn't exactly helped things... I'm really not sure just how much of a mess I'd be in if I weren't on antidepressents... things are pretty bloody bad even with them...

Gender Stuff


Things actually might be happening over the whole gender transition thing... Apparently I'm supposed to be due to be seen by Leeds Gender Identity Clinic sometime between April 2007 and March 2008.

So, thats a good thing... except...

Except its terrifying... I mean, this is such a huge thing... we're talking about something that is... I guess fundamental to me... and the first meeting with the GIC people can basically screw it all up... I mean, these people can turn around and basically say "you're not transgendered, get lost!"... That just scares the hell out of me... the idea that someone can have that kind of power over stuff is just -shudder-

Work And Stuff


Work is going -shrug- ok I guess... it pays the rent atleast, and gives me money to play with... which is always good....

We're looking to develop some systems that can be sold to water companies for parts of their treatment process... means me doing some development of PLC-based control systems and their associated electrical and electronic aspects... so that should be atleast interesting.

Geekery


So the nice money from my job means I've been able to indulge myself slightly... and so I now have a nice shiny new dual-core laptop stacked out with RAM and stuff *^^*

I've spent quite a lot of time geekin around and setting it up... actually, I'm still playing with it really... there's still a bit of stuff not installed, and I still need to transfer a load of data from other systems so I've got everything in one place... but the neat thing is that cos I've got Virtual PC on it, I can run Linux, Minix, Windows 98 and Windows XP (as the host OS) all concurrently. Oh, and I've got a Power-PC Mac-OS 8.6 box on the system too, thanks to SheepShaver *^^*

I need to put in some time trying to get the virtual Mac to access the network... trying to start SheepShaver using the built-in wireless network adapter as its network card causes the whole emulator to crash at startup... it seems to start up ok if its configured to use the inbuilt wired LAN adapter... so its kind of confusing me... and the release of pre-built SheepShaver development snapshots is, well, not exactly rapid... I might just have to put in some hackery-time to try see if I can work out the problem...

I finally got around to putting the K6/2-500 into my Windows 2000/FirstClass box and gave away the old processor from that box, along with various bits of the old Linux box... so I've managed to avoid accumulating any more junk! ;-)

My dual-core Linux server is still running the irritating motherboard that only recognises one of the cores... after I get paid, I'm planning to finally sort that little issue out, and also (possibly) to upgrade my main Windows server so its got a dual-core processor, and to shuffle that system down to the the FirstClass system... then I can give the K6/2 and its bits away aswell...

Apart from the laptop and that little bit of hardware stuff, I've really not done alot of geekery recently... ButterflyD is still in pretty much the same state as it was a couple of months back (thats one of the things I need to transfer to the new laptop actually), and I can't think of anything that I've done on any of my other projects really.

...


Well, I guess thats about it... except to say that I'm hovering on the edge of loosing the plot... and it really rather sux... -sulk-

Oh, and don't get me wrong... I'm excited about the gender clinic... its a massive relief to know I'm not just sitting and stewing on a waiting list... or worse, that I've not silently fallen off the list... it... it just scares me to think about it all....