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well, now my heart is pounding and racing and i've managed to make myself *really* happy.... my head is in hyperspace.... i'm gonna rip my soul into a black hole, or carve the universe a new event horizon or something insane very soon....

maybe i'll just give up... maybe that would be best. for everyone. especially for *her*. she doesn't need this. she doesn't need some practically neolithic waster wannabe-happy, i-hate-my-world-and-have-too-much-self-hate-and-self-revulsion-to-be-worth-jack-*shit*, need-to-O/D-worse-than-ever-because-i'm-sucking-life-out-of-everyone, er, *hole*.

if my memory serves, then there's a term for me.... vampire isn't it, that's too specific... a vampire required the blood of a living being to sustain it's undead existance... what happens without blood varies with who you listen to... some say the vampire whithers away and 'dies', while others say then 'live' as shadows of them selves... hungering for blood, in the blood-lust, but without the *bite* to get it any more...

Succubus isn't right either, that's a female spirit, demon or fiend that descends at night to have sexual intercourse with a man while he sleeps... and an Incubus is the male version, which prey's on women...

<shrug> it doesn't matter... it really is irrelevent, a bit like the person i'm talking about, oh, and the one typing this... i'm rambling, and if i'm still coherent, i'm doing well....

i'm going. this is pointless.