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still sukky

OK, this seems to not be one of those three-day-falls that I occassionally get, where stuff just gets to be too much, I drop under, swirl around in depression for a couple of days then come out functioning again at the end.

So I'm making myself function. Back to the "think about everything and force myself to do it" way of life. I *have* to get these job apps done. They're Important, so I'm making myself do them, even though I stare at the boxes for *ages* wondering how on earth to avoid writing "I'm a dumb fuck, have no ability and you really don't want me working for you"... Example of one of the questions that that response fits? Give a summary of the abilities and experience you feel are relevent to this post. The worst part is that now I'm re-thinking what I've written, because I think I didn't really cover abilities. Damn.

OK, I'm gonna un-seal the envelope and put in my Computing Skills Summary to supplement my stupid CV... which'll waste me a stamp and then cost me an extra one to post it cos the envelope is gonna weight too much for just one first-class stamp *sigh*

Oh, I have good reason to say my CV is stupid... there's no way to make it cover my actual ability, so much of what I know and have done is on my own systems, not in a "commercial" scenario. I can *do* and *did* do far more than any of the job descriptions in the past 4 years... hell, I was the System Administrator, System Architect and a *load* of other roles in the College, because my boss was so busy trying to interface with the stupid management structures they had that it moved onto my shoulders. It worked rather well really, but it shouldn't have had to... It means, though, that I've done stuff like network planning, large-scale long-term IT strategic planning and all that sort of stuff... [Mini rant...] We had 1500 users and over 250 computers in that place, and when I first started, it was about 120 Macs on 10-base-T, with 30 PCs on a 10-base-2 network. When I left, we had 100-base-T everywhere, over 200 PCs, some iBooks and iMacs, and a load of servers... and if they'd have *listened*, they'd have had a gigbit fiber backbone to the various switch-stacks dotted around the place and connecting to the main Servers. Course, they didn't listen; the new Head "had a vision"... and being an "IT Guru," *cough* he *obviously* new better than the people who live and work with the machines.... [/Mini rant...]

OK, I'd best make myself do something else. I still have atleast 4 job-apps to do... and there may be a couple in the paper to look into aswell.