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Well it seems that it was pretty much all for nothing.

All the hurt and the being apart and all that... pointless. I lost out to someone who is something I can never be, not really anyway... and she's now in almost exactly the same position that I was, except that she can be there.

<sigh> Be well Sarah, I wish you two the very best.

I'm probably not gonna post much for a while, maybe ever... I don't know. LJ is a painful place to be right now... hell, the *world* is a painful place... I can't deal with that really right now, except I need to stay functioning atleast till wednesday when I'll be back in bristol and this job interview will be done... Then I get a couple of days to fall apart before my dad is down to help re-paint the house back to magnolia and brilliant white. After that I get a week or two of alone-time to recluse myself.

I guess I'm working on this being bye-bye... whether it's long-term or short-term is yet to be seen.

So...



To aislingthoughts, thank you... You've shown dignity and grace in difficult circumstances... I wish you and Gabe happiness and joy... I'm sure things will come good for you guys, you deserve it.

To ambyguity... <hugs>... I'm honoured to call you friend. Thank you for everything hun.

To bex69, your LJ persona is adorable... I don't know you irl, so i can't say whether it carries accross. You've made me laugh, cry and think. Best wishes for your future, I hope stuff gets better for you.

To braindamage... it's been a while since we talked... I hope things get easier for you... atleast you've got Alicia around :-)

To drkangel150. All I can really say is <hugs> and I hope that you get the elf you want ;-)

To emptywomb... Someone else who's made me laugh and think... and I *love* the hair :-)

To lark_ascending, random geekness made me smile and insight to brighten up my day.. thanks :-)

To lnr... I'll mail you sometime soon, promise... not meaning to worry anyone, I just need to breathe free for a while. <hugs>

To missmorganna... damnit... this is starting to sound lame.... someone else who makes me laugh, cry and think... Hold onto the boi... it'll be worth it... don't give up

To sbazzy... I hope the situation with your 'rents is getting easier... I can't really tell as I'm not on your friends list and I missed your post about going friends-only. I'd *like* to be able to keep reading as I really do enjoy your journal.

And finally, to mr_self_destruc... I don't know what to say. I love you, and it hurts so much. Be well, be happy, be free.



BTW; this doesn't mean I'm not going to read... I might, I don't know yet... I'll probably continue to post personal entries, I might even play with the friends-groups thing and post so that a small group can read, but only if people ask, and I feel I want them reading the stuff I write from now on.

Comments

( 3 Mobwebs — Spin A Cobweb )
drkangel150
13th Jan, 2003 09:18 (UTC)
*hugg*
I hope you feel better with time hun.
dragonshiori
14th Jan, 2003 13:02 (UTC)
::sighs:::.....hello.
I am a dear friend of Mr_Self_destruc's.......My name is Shadow, and you can Find me at LJ name=Dragonshiori. I want you to know that I have been talking and hanging out with her for a while now, and she is TOTALLY AND MADLY in love with you. She still is. She has been talking to me about how she is feeling since this whole thing happened. She feels like shite. And she wants you back. She has realized the folly of her ways, and she is truthfully sorry. She wants to talk to you, and try to mend what was broken.....will you talk to her?.....please respond to this......I know that you are taking a break from this, but please.....if you still love her....take her back.

-Shadow
littlemissgoth
14th Jan, 2003 14:12 (UTC)
Re: ::sighs:::.....hello.
Hi

I'm currently speaking with her...

I've loved her for a long time, a couple of days is not likely to change that, no matter what happened.

LmG
( 3 Mobwebs — Spin A Cobweb )