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3rd Dec, 2002

I used to take heart from reading aislingthoughts journal.... it was hopeful, not just for her life and problems, that aisling and gabe would be together, but for my own situation.

I look back and I don't feel that anymore.... I feel amazement, respect and immense amount of happiness for them.... that they *are* together and such-like... and i feel betrayed that things haven't worked out for me.

I probably sound like a large green ball of putrid, rancid envy... and i probably am... and it's probably *way* too self-centred... but i'm *sick* of getting hurt... sick of having feelings betrayed and crushed.

To Aisling and Gabe, if you read this... please hold on to each other... don't let what you've been through be for nothing... you've made it through, for want of a better term, hell... and i wish you the very best for the future.