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I hate this time of year... I have even less energy now than normal... i guess i probably wouldn't diagnose out as SAD, but then i don't seem to diagnose out as extremely depressed even when i'm on one of my nice suicide trips.... and that's really kinda stupid... the good ole docs sit and ask these questions and you answer them... and they turn around when you feel like life is the most pointless, worthless exercise in futility there could ever *be*... and they say "you're not really that depressed"....

I think i *know* how my head is mr doctor... thank *you* :-p

The last time i had one of *those* interviews, i walked out and some guy had to pull me back onto the pavement or i'd have been under a bloody bus.

anyway... i seem to be in perpetually-distracted mode... i go off at a tangent *so* eaily.. just like i did up at the top of this post...

ok, what have i done recently?

i was feeling kinda good... i finally started getting on and doing some of that plan i came up with *months* ago... I'm now like, a sixth of the way through my C++ book... and it's making sense and nice and easy so far... also started dabling in Tannenbaum... read through the intro before he really starts to get into OS coding... and the concepts are making sense... and i'm kinda remembering it too... which is nice :-)

i also started working on the PC that I'm doing for a friend-of-a-friend... but the crappy western digital caviar drive in it seems to be *fucked*... Basically, the disk spins fine... and I get recognition no hassle... and I can get at the partition table and change it (scrapped the no-whole-disk FAT partition that was on it).. but i can't get the damn thing to format... oh, and I *was* getting an I/O Error out of the PC BIOS when it was attempting to boot MS-DOS/Windows/whatever-it-was that was installed when the machine arrived... So now i'm running a legacy Western Digital diag program on the drive... which was fun to find... [rant: why can't stupid companies provide *REAL* support for legacy kit.. not just provide a few docs if you're lucky? I had to go looking for wddiag on Altavista... and found it on a german website... I *SHOULD* have just been able to go WD website > Support > Downloads > Legacy > WDDiag... I mean I *know* they have replaced it with something new... but the something new came up and said "Your drive is not supported", which is just plain *dumb*! ].

WDDiag is *slow*... but then so far as I can figure, it's doing a read-test on each sector... The drive is CHS:4960/16/63... so that's um.... <thinks>... um... al *lot* of sectors to test :-( [calc: 4999680... *shit*]...

So that's gonna take a *while* to run the diag program over... :-(

What else?

Well, ellie doesn't seem to be all that happy :-( and neither does sarah, although admittedly, being ill for three days and going to bed early has meant i have only her LJ to rely on for info....

Hannah and I *had* been getting on ok... the friendship *appeared* to be going well... and then we had a *major* fight... over not-much... 'cept i was feeling shit and ill so it all just got too much and i stropped *big*... probably not a nice thing to do, probably my fault that the fight happened, and she'd probably be about a million times better of without the friendship, but <sigh> in her words (and i think this is actually kinda dumb on her part), "our friendship is the most important thing to me"...

damnit, i should just stop it. consequences be damned. but i won't. cos i don't count. and if she wants friendship then i'll try fulfil that...

fuck. now i'm less happy than i was even before i started writing this...

so much for using this as therapy-land... today that didn't work :-(

Oh well, g2g

<hugs to those who want 'em>

<kisses to sarah>

Bye
jT