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who cares?

well, this is just such a good day.

it's going from strength to strength.

first i have a nice happy depression episode, then i get to chat with my angel cos she didn't go to the movies, so that was nice and i cheered up a bit, and we've been chatting for a few hours.. and i've been getting better, i really have. i was almost *happy*.... and then she decides that i don't mean it when i say i love her. i mean, for *fuck's* sake, after, what, 15+ months, you'd think she'd know me well enough to know i mean it. but no... can't believe *me*... that'd make life to much like it's gonna work out... i'm pretty much in tears.... i can't see straight to type these, my eyes won't stop leaking. why am i so fuckin *pathetic*?

why the hell am i such a waste of space, oxygen, water, money, resources...?

damnit, why the *fuck* do i exist? am i supposed to be the stub of some pan-galactic joke? the punchline to the worst day of someone's life?

Oh well, i guess i'm back into "my" song again....

CREEP
    - Radiohead

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so fucking special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.

Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,

but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

Cya

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