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Im *so* ***tired***

I've been helping out at Bristol Childrens Festival.. its a charity event, they put on circus acts and bouncy castles and things for kids...

i'm helping someone with a load of big inflatables... the same thing i did at glastonbury. we set 'em up in the morning. watch the kids so they don't get hurt or damage any inflatables, then take them down. sounds easy, isn't.. it's hard work, and it's been fairly hot today... there's a lot of lifting, carrying, hammering, etc. and you're standing for, like, 6 hours solid.

i've done about five or six hours on friday, nine saturday, and another four or five today, and tomorrow there will only be two of us to set everything up, and the other person (the lady who makes the inflatables) has problems with her hands, so she shouldn't lift stuff, so i'll be doing most of the work... atleast thats the aim..... will probably end up being at least eight hours tomorrow.

i'm physically exhausted, even though ididn't do a full day today.. i had a break for a couple of hours this afternoon... i'm still not sleeping 100%.. and i'm not used to all this exercise and labout... and i knew i had tomorrow to be fit for...

i'm gonna go to bed now. i am falling asleep typing.

Sarah, if you read this, I love you with all my heart and i miss you so much it's tearing me apart.

i will speak to you as soon as i can.

please understand i have to do this. you know how i feel about my sister, i need to do something to make up for it. whether it was my fault or not, i wasn't there, and in my own mind, that's just not good enough. maybe helping out with childrens charities and things will ease that.

i'm sorry i haven't been around much this weekend.

i love you

Jonathan